When I was first Diagnosed with Bipolar I hid it from everyone. I did not want to be different. I would fake being ok. The stigma of having a mental illness and the fact that few people could understand it, left me feeling like a spoilt kid, everything to live for yet stuck in a place were I was sentenced for life. Since the publication of my book, I have Bipolar, Bipolar isn’t me, I not longer have a place to hide. I do sometimes feel people are waiting for some sort of failure. We are all humans so I mostly do not care.
The symptoms of Bipolar are the tell tale signs that give sufferers away: firstly Bipolar is not a temporary sadness and can appear out of the blue, without reason. People may be aware that something is wrong but just don’t know what it is. There does not have to be a reason for sadness and this is not understood. Feelings can come in the form of anger or frustration at any time. Insomnia is often found or too much sleep is experienced. Energy levels are low and eating habits change. Often headaches, back pain and stomach pains are experienced due to the depression.There are a great deal of unworthy and guilt feelings and often feelings of anxiety are present. Death becomes a subject that fascinates and with it suicide.